Altered Perspectives, Backward and Forward

All throughout most of my adult life, an adage my father has used frequently is, "As you get older, you'll see."

And, like any young adult, with my arrogance of youth, I blew that statement off. "I'll never change," I always thought to myself.  Thinking I could do no wrong, and that I had life figured out, I never thought about what was to come.

Now, freshly 25, with a child on the way, I often find myself looking inward, analyzing the way I've done things in the past, and considering how to move forward.  Thinking about what I want for my child's future, I look back on myself, and think to myself, "Boy, I sure hope my son doesn't end up being such a huge asswad."

One of the most recent epiphanies that I've had, was yesterday.  I was enjoying my lunch break at work, watching the movie "Click," starring Adam Sandler, on the television.  Having seen the movie before, I'd never put any thought into the plot, or the message it was trying to convey.  But, as I watched the character portrayed by Adam Sandler skip some of the most important events of his life, I thought about if it were me in the same situation.  There's a scene in the movie, where Mr. Sandler is sitting in his son's office, some years away from where he last remembered being, and just learning that his father has died.  Natural reactions aside, he uses his magic remote to rewind to the last time he spoke with his father.  You know what happens in that scene?  His father simply wants to arrange to spend time with him, and Mr. Sandler blows him off entirely.  The last thing his father does is tell him that he loves him, to which Mr. Sandler explodes, and leaves his father walking away, tears in his eyes.

So, I sat and watched for a few more minutes, blankly, thinking about the last conversation I had with my own Dad.  All we did was chit chat for a few minutes, I bitched about work, or whatever was on my mind, and he just listened.  There was no particular substance to the conversation, just idle chatting.  Then I thought about it some more, and wondered to myself, "What if that was the last conversation that I ever had with that man?"

I would kick my own ass, every day, for the rest of my life.

Then, thinking forward, I wondered about the future for my son and I.  I desire nothing more than for my son to enjoy my company, think of me as the strongest man in the world, and his number one confidant. But then, if I treat my own dad in some of the ways that I have in the past, how can I expect my son to do any different?

So, after several minutes of introspection, I made a very, very strong resolution - never will I let a day go by that I don't tell my son how much I love him, nor will I ever let another day pass where I don't tell my own dad.

After reaching this resolution, I then began to truly think of the things that I've done with my life.  The choices I've made, the places I've been, the things I've said to people... Just a real, deep, hard look at my life as I've lived it.  Has it been perfect? Absolutely not.  Could I have done about nine million things better? Definitely.

Everyone says that your children are a direct reflection of you as a person, and if that's truly the case, I can honestly say, my son will be a douche.  So, change has to start with me, and it has to start now, if I want my son to have the best possible life he can.

I always thought the saying, "Having children will change you," was just something people said, and never really thought about it.  Now, I think I understand even more.

My Dad's done so much to get me this far in life, and yet, I'd never really thought about just how much he was helping me for the future, as well.

So, if you've stumbled upon this blog by accident, or maybe you're another expectant parent - either way, I encourage you to take some time, think about the things you've done, and the person you've become.  Do you want your child to be like you as you are today?  Maybe you do, maybe you're already awesome.  If not, take the time now to make those absolutely vital course corrections.  I know I am.

Lord knows, I don't want my kid to walk around saying some of the things that I say - I make sailors blush.


I've also heard people say that hindsight is 20/20, and you can't change the past.  That's true.  But, the lessons that the past hold, I believe, can help shape you future.


This is definitely a stray from the typical tone of my posts, but I think that it's a necessary one.  When parents are expecting, all anyone wants to talk about is the easy stuff, the exciting stuff.  Nobody ever wants to sit down and talk about the hard things you have to do.


And with that said, I leave you for the evening to ponder on this.  Maybe you think I'm full of it, maybe not.  Either way, some food for thought.

The Exaltation Algorithm

Greetings once again, and Happy New Year!

I know it's been a few weeks, but we've unfortunately hit the point where we wait for our little man to finish cooking, so there isn't a ton of news to report.

However, though there isn't much, it has been an exciting few weeks on our path to parenthood.

Last week, I finally got to feel our boy move for the first time.  Mrs. J has been able to feel him for weeks, and we've just been waiting until his movements were strong enough to be felt from the outside.

And it was one of the most exciting things I've ever experienced in my life.  The strength of an unborn child is nothing short of amazing.  Though only 23 weeks in, the strength in his movements is astounding.

We had another visit to the doctor week before last, and it was fairly uneventful.  The ultrasound tech was back to her typical rude demeanor (I wondered how long her kindness would truly last), and the nurse was barely there - vacant and short the entire time.  We did receive another ultrasound, where it was again confirmed that our little boy is, in fact, a boy.

During this visit, we discovered that the original phone call Mrs. J received, advising her that her one hour gestational diabetes test came back clear, was incorrect, and as such she had to submit to a three hour test.  Needless to say, we were not at all happy that her results had been "mixed up" with another patient.  It has certainly led me to question how many other mistakes could have been made, and not just involving us - but other patients.

So, our worry was reignited.  Although gestational diabetes is not insurmountable, it was a worry nonetheless.  Fortunately, the new lab that Mrs. J went to was expedient in her results, which came back negative for gestational diabetes.  So, she remains in the "normal pregnancy" category, rather than high risk.

Being aware of the risk, both of us began to diet prior to the administration of the three hour test, just in case, and have chosen to continue on with the diet even though the test came back negative.  In talking about it, we've decided that it's best for both of us to begin with, and if we wish to impart good eating habits onto our son, it has to begin with us.

This is a huge step for both of us, considering how we've chosen to carry our diet in the past.  So far, so good.  Two weeks in, with no major slips or issues.

I wish that I had more to report in, but at this point, there just isn't much going on.  We're happily playing the waiting game, waiting for our son to get big, strong, healthy, and ready to deliver.

So, with that said, I leave you all until next time.

-J